December 08, 2004

Two Dogs

How was the tour?

Let's just be honest right from the start. This business of traveling around playing music is a great place to visit, even with your family, but you probably wouldn't want to live there. At least I wouldn't. That's not true. Under the right circumstances it could be awesome. In fact, under the circumstances of this most recent trip, it actually was quite wonderful. For me. Mostly because my wife busted her ass doing all her own work as well as the work I normally do when I'm around.

Tom Waits said his career and his family were like two dogs that hated each other. And he had to take them both out on a walk together. Every day.

There's no denying that traveling can be fun. Maybe it's something to do with the way we "live" when we're "visiting". We enjoy planning each day, or not planning it, as is our preference. One discovers new things, gets plenty of sleep, or just stays up all night talking, or reading. Reading is good. It leads, I've found, to thinking. I meant that to be sincere.

The thread here is choice. Visiting is cool because you choose to do it. You take the time to do it, go to the trouble and the expense. You make it count, because your time is finite. Your trip is terminal. But so is your life. And if traveling around sangin' and twangin' is how you make your money, and you like it, then you might ought to not stop doing it.

In the end we have to reconcile where we visit with how we live.

But the trip was great. Picture me: black boots, new jeans, and a long black pea coat, striding quickly, confidently, and very seriously through New York's Lower East Side, through Philly, through Williamsburg, and even through Hoboken, hair akimbo, left hand on the handle of hard guitar case displaying no fewer than five "handle with care" stickers along side the evidence that baggage handlers are either illiterate or they just don't give a fuck.

At the end of my other arm, in my hand actually, a Pelican spy case containing: digital tuner, LR Baggs direct box, the so-called Elvis mic from Despair, and a germ-wise pristine Sure SM58 (that I actually use). All of these, for the most part, black. And on my back a black (again) pack stuffed with merch. Which on this trip means black T-shirts, grey T-shirts, SUDDENLY BRIGHT OUT CDs, Kirk Smith Matches, postcards and a mailing list bound in a thick black notebook. So basically, and I'm just trying set the stage here, I look completely ridiculous. Picture then, not me. Picture Johnny Cash mashed with Pokemon. Cool.

Now I've traveled around some doing plays (FAUSTUS, DESPAIR, DELUGE) but this trip wasn't like those. For one thing I was alone. I paid my own way, carried my own gear, set my own schedule, sank or swam, by myself. And I have to say, at the moment, I like it that way. Who wouldn't? Being out there without a crutch shows you real quick where you're strong, and where you need work. And I'm not even talking about the show. Although the same applies to the show. Times 10.

The other thing is -- and any touring musician knows this, but it's hard to really grasp until it happens to you -- when you play shows night after night you get a hell of a lot better. I'm talking about singing and playing, telling stories, writing and then ignoring songlists, getting lost and then finding your way back and being better off than when you began. I swear I improved the show more in the last three weeks than in the three months prior. Easily. Six months prior. Without practicing once. Without even trying really. You also lose weight. Even if you eat. It's not the drugs. I didn't take any drugs. I just didn't ever get hungry. There was too much to think about.

Downside is, you're really just visiting. And unless you set your whole life up for it, something's always happening back at home and someone else is taking care of it for you. And they can't believe you done that to them, or else you're paying them, or else no one's taking care of anything and it's all coming undone.

But the clubs were great, I took the train a lot, and the people I met were, without exception, terrific. Is there a sane way to do this job? There must be, I don't really understand it yet though. But I'm just beginning.